Sunday, October 4, 2015

Addressing Antisocial Behavior due to Attachment Disorder

Things I would tell a foster parent:

1. The problems this person has are not your fault.

2. This is a tough job, and that's precisely why you are called to it.

3. Even if you have to eventually draw a line in the sand to protect yourself and other family members, always convey love to the individual, and first give it all you've got.

4. Take breaks to protect yourself.

5. It's going to get bad before it gets better.

6. Getting better takes many years and may never be as good as you had hoped it would be.

7. There is hope.

8. Don't be another person who gives up on this individual.

9. You can be the difference for this person.

10. This person is acting this way because he has been to some very dark places.

11. Praise him for surviving.

12. Let him rise to the challenge of learning.

13. You can't love him out of it.

14. Don't not set boundaries because you feel sorry for him.

15. Don't take the awful things he says to you personally, because they are not personal and are coming from a place of pain from abuse we can't even imagine.

16. Take it one day at a time or else you're going to burn out; celebrate the progress and blessings of that day.

17. This person has some amazing strengths and you will be blessed that they came into your life.

18. You won't have all the answers; they only come from God.

19.  They are delayed emotionally because of such horrific abuse and neglect.

20. When they say I hate you, tell them how much you love them.

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